You know you're addicted to Black Books when...

#1. Eating jam on toast give you an uncontrollable urge to hurl it at the ceiling.
#2. You've actually made (or tried to make) the red wine popsicle.
#3. You've tried to use 'Dave's Syndrome' as an excuse to get out of work.
#4. There's a collection of murdered bees on your windowsill and wasps in your pizza box
#5. Seeing someone wiping their nose on their sleeve, you automatically say 'dirty!' in the most repulsive voice you can muster.
#6. You've considered all the actual mechanics of shitting in a wicker chair
#7. You know the words to all of Bernard's Irish ditties
#8. You regularly sing said Irish Ditties at inappropriate moments.
#9. You claim you're 'allergic to vegetables'
#10. A skinhead is a cause for celebration
#11. You've tried to buy the 'Little Book of Calm' on Amazon, and actually been disappointed when you didn't find it.
#12. Similarly you've tried to buy a leather bound Dickens and pay for it in leather bound pounds, then acted hurt when you were treated like a lunatic.
#13. You want to subscribe to 'Big and Beardy'
#14. Your new favourite way to summon your friends and co-workers is 'hey, you, Gengus/Ming the Merciless/Gandalf/Lord of the Rings/Imperial Lather'
#15. 'Freshening Up' now involves walking into the bathroom fully clothed, spraying yourself in the face with the shower attachment and then wandering out with a cigarette in your mouth.

You know you're addicted to Black Books when...

#1. Eating jam on toast give you an uncontrollable urge to hurl it at the ceiling.
#2. You've actually made (or tried to make) the red wine popsicle.
#3. You've tried to use 'Dave's Syndrome' as an excuse to get out of work.
#4. There's a collection of murdered bees on your windowsill and wasps in your pizza box
#5. Seeing someone wiping their nose on their sleeve, you automatically say 'dirty!' in the most repulsive voice you can muster.
#6. You've considered all the actual mechanics of shitting in a wicker chair
#7. You know the words to all of Bernard's Irish ditties
#8. You regularly sing said Irish Ditties at inappropriate moments.
#9. You claim you're 'allergic to vegetables'
#10. A skinhead is a cause for celebration
#11. You've tried to buy the 'Little Book of Calm' on Amazon, and actually been disappointed when you didn't find it.
#12. Similarly you've tried to buy a leather bound Dickens and pay for it in leather bound pounds, then acted hurt when you were treated like a lunatic.
#13. You want to subscribe to 'Big and Beardy'
#14. Your new favourite way to summon your friends and co-workers is 'hey, you, Gengus/Ming the Merciless/Gandalf/Lord of the Rings/Imperial Lather'
#15. 'Freshening Up' now involves walking into the bathroom fully clothed, spraying yourself in the face with the shower attachment and then wandering out with a cigarette in your mouth.