Livin' in London
Apr. 24th, 2006 09:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roguemI arrived safely.
Am rather tired, so will probably go to bed early tonight as I have classes tomorrow.
Have met some of my friends here, they were very happy to have me back, which was very sweet. *feels loved*
And now for something completely different.
I saw thatstarlit_woods had a link in his journal to a Bill Bailey song. That got me to thinking about "Black Books" which is a british sitcom that I just loved. By the help of YouTube I bring you some clips. I also collected some quotes. Enjoy.
Am rather tired, so will probably go to bed early tonight as I have classes tomorrow.
Have met some of my friends here, they were very happy to have me back, which was very sweet. *feels loved*
And now for something completely different.
I saw that
starlit_woods had a link in his journal to a Bill Bailey song. That got me to thinking about "Black Books" which is a british sitcom that I just loved. By the help of YouTube I bring you some clips. I also collected some quotes. Enjoy.A little taste of this wonderful series.
Cooking the Books is the first part of the first episode of the show, where Bernard and Manny meet, we're also introduced to Fran who is Bernard's friend. (Runtime: 04:21)
Bernard: Half ten? Half ten? I've never been up at half ten! What happens?
Fran: Finished with your accounts?
Bernard: Yes. I've turned them into a rather smart casual jacket.
Bernard: (reading from tax returns form) "What was your mother's maiden name?"...What was her first name? I just knew her as Ma!! Ma, that'll have to do...(writes and speaks out loud) Ma.....possibly deceased.
Bernard: WHAT!?...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!...WHAT?!...(reading aloud from tax returns form) If you live...in a council flat, beside a river, but are not...blind. WHAT!!?!
Bernard: I've been gravely injured now. I don't have to do my accounts. You're a witness.
Manny: I could do your accounts.
Bernard: What?
Manny: I'm an accountant. I was. It's the least I could do
Bernard: You mean you could do more?
Manny: Yeah.
Bernard: Could I have a glass of wine?
Manny: OK.
Bernard: And a ham sandwich?
Manny: If you like.
Bernard: With pickle?
Skinheads This is pretty much the end of the first episode. (Runtime: 02:13)
Manny attempts to sell a book. I have no idea which episode this is, but I suspect it's the second one. (Runtime: 01:01)
Post-party. This is from the last episode of the show. The Manny, Bernard and Fran have been to a party and are a bit drunk. (Runtime: 01:33)
Bernard's Letter. This isn't from an episode of the series, but the DvD extras. ;) (Runtime: 02:33)
For more clips and info GO HERE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bernard: Where's all the books?
Manny: What?
Bernard: Where's all the books?
Manny: Oh, I've sold them.
Bernard: Oh, JESUS. You know what that means?! It means I have to go and ring the ordering place and you have no idea how incredibly BORING and COMPLICATED that is.
Bernard [On the phone]: Hello? Is this the place where you order books from when you want to sell them from your book shop?
Bernard: What do they want from me? [customers]. Why can't they just leave me alone? What do they WANT from me?
Manny: Well, they want to buy books..
Bernard: Yeah, but why me, why do they come to me?
Manny: Because you sell books..
Bernard: Yeah... I know... but...
Manny: I insist you come over right away! Ok, tomorrow. But first thing tomorrow! After lunch... right after lunch! Six o'clock. Fine.
Manny [On the phone]: The place is a mess! Look!
[Manny points the phone at the room]
Manny: You can't taste anything! You smoke eighty..bajillion cigarettes a day! Whats that? What are you eating?
Bernard: It's some kind of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster.
Bernard: Is it? Are there any more?
Manny: You are a filth wizard. Friend only to the pig and the rat. Ugh. Look!
[he opens a pizza box]
Bernard: Pizza. I was going to warm it and eat it later. Everybody does that. That's normal. You are just looking for things to complain about.
Manny: And what are these?
Bernard: ...wasps.
Manny: We have needs! Frans got her piano; I want some time off; you want to go out with a girl.
Bernard: Don't make me laugh...bitterly. Fran will fail. You'll toil your life away and I'll die alone, upside down on the floor of a pub toilet.
Bernard: You! What did you say to Kate? She thinks I'm the Renaissance! She'll think I've lied. I have to go along with all this 'reclusive genius' stuff. She's going to be very upset when she finds out I'm a reclusive wanker!
after telling Bernard the walls of her flat are moving in
Fran: Look, if you don't believe me you can come around tonight and we'll watch the wall!
Manny: Don't be ridiculous, we'll be staying in and watching the thermometer tonight. Won't we, Bernard? Eh? Eh? Won't we?
Bernard: I don't know, it's an impossible choice. Walls, thermometers, I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin, it somehow explodes and kills me.
Bernard: My oven can cook anything. My oven can cook...bits of oven!
Customer: Look, there's no other way to say this, but I didn't come in here to be insulted.
Bernard: Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. In another life, maybe we could have been brothers. Running a small, quirky taverna in Sicily. We would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be. So...hop it.
Fran: So what's it like then? The fags and booze.
Bernard: Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: Yep...
Bernard: You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: Yep...
Bernard: ... "this is fantastic. I'm in heaven."
Bernard: All right. Let's just, you know, get some ideas bouncing around. Sort of go crazy...no rules...
Manny: Yeah. Sort of anything goes.
Bernard(Yelling): No, not anything goes!! I said NO RULES!!!
Bernard: Who is she anyway, this so called person?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And just because I think Dylan Moran is brilliant, some clips of his stand up acts.
Dylan Moran live in 1997 (Runtime: 07:27)
Dylan Moran Stand Up Dylan Moran's 3 & 1/2 minutes from 'The Cream of Irish Comedy'.
And some Bill Bailey:
Asylum -Bill Bailey
Black Books is a second-hand bookshop in London run by an Irishman named Bernard Black. He is probably the planet's worst-suited person to run such an establishment: he makes no effort to sell, closes at strange hours on a whim, is in a perpetual alcoholic stupor, abhors his customers (sometimes physically abusing them) and is often comatose at his desk. Help comes in the lumpy shape of Manny Bianco, a hairy, bumbling individual who (almost by osmosis) becomes Bernard's assistant. Manny is not exactly great at the job either but he is a million times better than Bernard. Next door is Fran, an anxious, frustrated woman who (in the first series) runs a sort of new-age shop selling the most unlikely bits of arty junk. (In the second, her shop was neither seen nor mentioned.) Fran is friends with Bernard and, through him, with Manny; together the trio become embroiled in escapades that are sometimes extreme or violent or fantastically ludicrous, and always bizarre.
Cooking the Books is the first part of the first episode of the show, where Bernard and Manny meet, we're also introduced to Fran who is Bernard's friend. (Runtime: 04:21)
Bernard: Half ten? Half ten? I've never been up at half ten! What happens?
Fran: Finished with your accounts?
Bernard: Yes. I've turned them into a rather smart casual jacket.
Bernard: (reading from tax returns form) "What was your mother's maiden name?"...What was her first name? I just knew her as Ma!! Ma, that'll have to do...(writes and speaks out loud) Ma.....possibly deceased.
Bernard: WHAT!?...WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!...WHAT?!...(reading aloud from tax returns form) If you live...in a council flat, beside a river, but are not...blind. WHAT!!?!
Bernard: I've been gravely injured now. I don't have to do my accounts. You're a witness.
Manny: I could do your accounts.
Bernard: What?
Manny: I'm an accountant. I was. It's the least I could do
Bernard: You mean you could do more?
Manny: Yeah.
Bernard: Could I have a glass of wine?
Manny: OK.
Bernard: And a ham sandwich?
Manny: If you like.
Bernard: With pickle?
Skinheads This is pretty much the end of the first episode. (Runtime: 02:13)
Manny attempts to sell a book. I have no idea which episode this is, but I suspect it's the second one. (Runtime: 01:01)
Post-party. This is from the last episode of the show. The Manny, Bernard and Fran have been to a party and are a bit drunk. (Runtime: 01:33)
Bernard's Letter. This isn't from an episode of the series, but the DvD extras. ;) (Runtime: 02:33)
For more clips and info GO HERE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bernard: Where's all the books?
Manny: What?
Bernard: Where's all the books?
Manny: Oh, I've sold them.
Bernard: Oh, JESUS. You know what that means?! It means I have to go and ring the ordering place and you have no idea how incredibly BORING and COMPLICATED that is.
Bernard [On the phone]: Hello? Is this the place where you order books from when you want to sell them from your book shop?
Bernard: What do they want from me? [customers]. Why can't they just leave me alone? What do they WANT from me?
Manny: Well, they want to buy books..
Bernard: Yeah, but why me, why do they come to me?
Manny: Because you sell books..
Bernard: Yeah... I know... but...
Manny: I insist you come over right away! Ok, tomorrow. But first thing tomorrow! After lunch... right after lunch! Six o'clock. Fine.
Manny [On the phone]: The place is a mess! Look!
[Manny points the phone at the room]
Manny: You can't taste anything! You smoke eighty..bajillion cigarettes a day! Whats that? What are you eating?
Bernard: It's some kind of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster.
Bernard: Is it? Are there any more?
Manny: You are a filth wizard. Friend only to the pig and the rat. Ugh. Look!
[he opens a pizza box]
Bernard: Pizza. I was going to warm it and eat it later. Everybody does that. That's normal. You are just looking for things to complain about.
Manny: And what are these?
Bernard: ...wasps.
Manny: We have needs! Frans got her piano; I want some time off; you want to go out with a girl.
Bernard: Don't make me laugh...bitterly. Fran will fail. You'll toil your life away and I'll die alone, upside down on the floor of a pub toilet.
Bernard: You! What did you say to Kate? She thinks I'm the Renaissance! She'll think I've lied. I have to go along with all this 'reclusive genius' stuff. She's going to be very upset when she finds out I'm a reclusive wanker!
after telling Bernard the walls of her flat are moving in
Fran: Look, if you don't believe me you can come around tonight and we'll watch the wall!
Manny: Don't be ridiculous, we'll be staying in and watching the thermometer tonight. Won't we, Bernard? Eh? Eh? Won't we?
Bernard: I don't know, it's an impossible choice. Walls, thermometers, I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin, it somehow explodes and kills me.
Bernard: My oven can cook anything. My oven can cook...bits of oven!
Customer: Look, there's no other way to say this, but I didn't come in here to be insulted.
Bernard: Well, I didn't ask for the job of insulting you. In another life, maybe we could have been brothers. Running a small, quirky taverna in Sicily. We would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be. So...hop it.
Fran: So what's it like then? The fags and booze.
Bernard: Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: Yep...
Bernard: You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: Yep...
Bernard: ... "this is fantastic. I'm in heaven."
Bernard: All right. Let's just, you know, get some ideas bouncing around. Sort of go crazy...no rules...
Manny: Yeah. Sort of anything goes.
Bernard(Yelling): No, not anything goes!! I said NO RULES!!!
Bernard: Who is she anyway, this so called person?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And just because I think Dylan Moran is brilliant, some clips of his stand up acts.
Dylan Moran live in 1997 (Runtime: 07:27)
Dylan Moran Stand Up Dylan Moran's 3 & 1/2 minutes from 'The Cream of Irish Comedy'.
And some Bill Bailey:
Bill Bailey- Pub Joke Bill Bailey - Pub Joke, taken from Bewilderness
Bill bailey - evolution Bill Bailey talks about evolution and drugs
Asylum -Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey and Cockney Music Bill Bailey outlines the standards of Cockney music, and uses examples where classical composers have been influenced by the cockney genre.
